Life as Spam

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(a very short story about a day in the life of a disciple of the culture of death)
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*NOTE* This post only contains the first four paragraphs of the story. The entire story is over here at my short story blog, Poboy Muse.
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I looked over my balcony this morning just in time to see a new Volkswagen Jetta run a red light and get T'ed by a Chevrolet Tahoe. I heard a woman's voice screaming about a baby (who makes the best car seats?) as I went back inside and made myself a cup of Tazo China Green Tips. It took twelve minutes for me to sip to the bottom of my Todd and Holland tea cup. After I finished, I got up, rinsed the dregs of leaves and Australian Beechworth honey out of my cup and toasted an onion bagel from Weiss'. Then, I showered, dressed, splashed on some Eternity, and left the apartment.

Wearing my new Brooks Brothers tie makes me feel like the captain of a ship, the ship of my life. Call me "Captain James T. Kirk." My life is the Starship Enterprise. There are plenty of expendable crewmen aboard. I must admit, I'm not interested in going where no man has gone before. I just want to go to Starbuck's. To Starbuck's! I will boldly go where I may drink $3 coffee and listen to Norah Jones in an aesthetically pleasing environment free and far from the cares of other men.

No luck. As soon as I arrive at the front of the line an older man at the condiments counter (are sugar, honey and cinammon considered condiments?) groans, grabs his chest, says "Help!" and falls on the floor. All this transpires before the barista (are there masculine and feminine forms of barista? baristess? probably not, it is a nice gender-neutral term, perfect for all the androgynous baristas. baristi? ah, the blessings of egalitarianism) can take my order (by the way, the barista was clearly a girl. I could tell by her Threadless baby doll tee). I was really looking forward to a latte.

I think, "I'm going to be late for work. Good thing I didn't place my order, otherwise I'd never get out of here." Actually, I might have said that out loud, because the barista (baristess?) says, "Lucky you. At least you can leave. I've got to stay and clean up his mess" as she cocks her thumb over her shoulder at the man writhing on the floor. As I look down at him on my way out the door I think, "I can't imagine how dirty it is on that floor." Again, what I thought I thought, I actually said out loud. Another barista (bariston? - one of the baristess's male coworkers) answers me. "I just mopped the floors an hour ago." Does he have any idea the foot traffic at the condiments (?) counter in his own establishment?

Read the rest

Related Tags: Satire, Fiction, Short Stories, Culture of Death

Cruciform Earnestness and Worldly Haze

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Our light, substance and reality only come from the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. We see from St. Paul's life and writings how earnest he was on this point. Paul was so earnest about this "rule" that he endured a litany of sufferings that make me dizzy by their mere contemplation.

The Cross exhibits God's earnestness in including us in the communion of holy, self-giving love shared by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Triune God brooks no compromise here. God recapitulates history rather than starting over.

By the Cross the world is crucified to the Church. All non-being, all unreality, all iniquity, everything that would obscure, usurp or detract from God and his love for creation is crucified by Christ. Furthermore, all that is within man that would say "no" to the Lord and everything that is within us that would align itself with the unreality of the world is put to death by Christ.

In Paul's time, the enmity against God was ironically embodied by those who sought to continue enforcing the ritual of circumcision within the Church. The reason that this problem is ironic is the fact that circumcision was the sign begun in Abraham's flesh that exhibited his separation from the world. It was time for God's people to move on, the sign having served its purpose and having been fulfilled by the atonement of Christ.

The prophecies of Moses, Ezekiel and Joel had come to pass. The heart of man was now circumcised as the Holy Spirit baptized people into Christ. Paul would not countenace any holdouts within the Church against the New Covenant.

In light of the earnestness of the Cross we may observe the chaos and insanity of attempting to serve two masters. A man who would do so would be torn apart. We are not created to survive such a tension.

The Cross resolves this tension by clearly dividing between God and all that would rival him. This division becomes hazy in our minds when we wander outside the pale of orthodoxy, that is, when we embrace any imposter of Mother Church. The Lord calls us into the communion with himself and his Church and invites us to participate in eternal life through her sacraments.

"KEEP, we beseech thee, O Lord, thy Church with thy perpetual mercy; and, because the frailty of man without thee cannot but fall, keep us ever by thy help from all things hurtful, and lead us to all things profitable to our salvation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Propers for Trinity 15

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Filed in General

Related Tags: Cross, Atonement, Jesus Christ, Sermon on the Mount, Church

Spaceship Monkey Taco

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The Jalepeno Tree
Kilgore, TX
June 2006






Hack away.

Filed in Pictures

Related Tags: Texas, Photography, Digital Pictures, Mexican Food, Fajitas

The Safe Line 5

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For better or for worse, it is done. That's right. I actually finished a short story.

I have posted Part 5 of "The Safe Line" over at Poboy Muse.

If you take the plunge, make sure you read Parts 1-4 if you haven't already.

Related Tags: Creative Writing, Horror, Adventure, Short Stories, Fiction

Where Are The Nine?

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The Contrast:

Walking in the Spirit
The Kingdom of God
Love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance

vs.

The lust of the flesh
Being under the law
Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like

The contrast is stated so starkly in many places throughout the Scriptures. The contrast brings out the madness of continuing in sin after we have been initiated into the Church. The contrast makes plain realities that the world would obscure.

Why are so many of us determined to go back to the prison of the flesh from which Christ has emancipated us? Having tasted the goodness of the Lord, why are we hell-bent upon reintroducing ourselves to that which is evil and destructive? How is it that we are ensnared again in the sins that brought so much pain to those around us?

Where are the nine?

"Jesus, Master, have mercy on us." Heal us of the leprosy of sin. Take away our defilement. Rid us of our iniquity.

But, what then? What happens when we get a ways down the road and realize that the Lord has answered our pitiful entreaty, yet again. What are we going to do in response?

We are going to return to him in thankfulness. We are going to "kiss the Son." We are going to spend our lives in the embrace of the Trinity. We are going to live in the bosom of Mother Church, participating in the life of God and fighting our way to Heaven through whatever the world, the flesh and the devil throw at us.

We will abide in the Scriptures. We will breathe prayer. We will confess our sins to one another and pray for one another that we might be healed. We will live lives of faith and obedience. We will grow stronger as we partake of the Sacrament. Our weekly Eucharistic feast will be a perpetual "Thank You" to the Lord for healing us.

"ALMIGHTY and everlasting God, give unto us the increase of faith, hope, and charity; and, that we may obtain that which thou dost promise, make us to love that which thou dost command; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Propers for Trinity 14

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Filed in General

Related Tags: Jesus Christ, Sin, Healing, Leprosy, Holy Spirit, Church, Virtue, Eucharist, Prayer, Bible

A Preposterous Parable of Penal Proportions

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A Satirical Jab at a Troublingly Common Version of the Penal Satisfaction/Substitution Theory of the Atonement

A young orphan was visiting with a family who was considering adoption. The eldest son of the family was showing the young lad his father's pride and joy, a model train set. It was housed in a pristine room that was maintained under the father’s fastidious eye. The son cautioned the orphan to show exceeding care as he entered the room to view the set.

The worst thing that could happen happened. The orphan grew a little too comfortable. He accidentally broke the father's favorite car, the engine. The look on the son's face revealed the extent of the orphan's transgression. He was in major trouble. The poor boy would be sailing through dire straits that would not be navigated without a taste of serious pain.

Upon hearing of the damage done, the father flew into a rage. He stormed around the house, knocking over lamps, screaming threats and epithets against the orphan. It was very apparent that the father was fixing to throw a beating and the orphan was going to catch it.

The son instructed the terrified boy to go and hide in his bedroom. From the bedroom, through a slightly cracked door, the orphan could see the son position himself in front of the infuriated patriarch. The father, understanding the son's intention to receive the orphan's beating, grabbed hold of the son and unleashed a savage thrashing upon his eldest and most loved son, the son in whom he greatly delighted.

Upon completion of the series of blows, the orphan saw the father rise up, breathing heavily and covered with sweat. Upon the father's face was a look of exquisite satisfaction. His anger over the breaking of the train had been appeased. Justice had been paid its righteous dues. The father had vented his wrath and now he was relieved.

The orphan noticed the father turn and make his way down the hall toward the bedroom where he tremblingly hid. The door opened and the father had a strangely incongruous smile on his face. Still a bit winded, he haltingly said to the orphan, "Welcome to the family! We've decided to adopt you. We’re glad you’re home, son!"

Needless to say, the orphan was hesitant to accept the offer.

Propers for the Exaltation of the Holy Cross

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Filed in Humor, Creative, Best

Related Tags: Penal Substitution, Satifaction Theory, Atonement, Satire, Parables, Humor

The Safe Line 4

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Miracle of miracles!

I have posted Part 4 of "The Safe Line" over at Poboy Muse.

I think it's coming along in an acceptable fashion for what it is and who I am.

Take a look.

Related Tags: Creative Writing, Horror, Adventure, Short Stories, Fiction

The Good Stranger

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Sometimes I almost despair at how the categories fixated upon and mis-defined by Reformed Christians have so corrupted the manner in which we read the Scriptures. Our conceptions of the Christian life must be freed from their false dichotomies and rootless dogmas. I grieve when I hear Evangelicals innocently regurgitate Reformed pap.

I am going to refer you to two sources that helpfully correct some of the Reformed mess that afflicts American Christians. Fr. Robert Hart's Homily for Trinity 13 deals with the relationship between faith and works. Fr. John Breck has some excellent thoughts on the Atonement entitled "God's Righteousness." These two works are especially germane to the Epistle for Trinity 13.

The Parable of the Good Samaritan is one of the more well known in the Gospels. The main character is a Samaritan for Jesus' listeners. It's unlikely that we are going to run into any Samaritans. We might think of him as a stranger.

If you’re a Roman Catholic, maybe the stranger is a Pentecostal, or vice-versa. If you’re a pro-choice, homosexual in ECUSA, maybe the stranger is a fundamentalist from the Southern Baptist Convention. If you’re a politically conservative patriot, maybe the stranger is a Muslim. If you’re me, then maybe the stranger reads John Piper or listens to CCM or thinks the theological enterprise is bankrupt. If you’re Reformed or Pentecostal, maybe I’m the stranger.

Jesus was not granting some blanket approval to the Samaritans. Neither was he saying that all of Israel, or even all the religious leaders of his day, would pass by a person in need. The point is that the stranger is the unexpected party who does what those who should have helped you didn’t. The point is that we all have a tendency to forget the basic decencies that a man owes to another man.

I don’t think that the parable can be taken to advocate some kind of welfare state. I do not believe that we are called to bail people out time and again. Sometimes a person needs to struggle at the bottom so that he will value a hand up. People need to learn how to do for themselves.

Again, the parable is about being a neighbor to whomever we encounter. The specifics require discernment. The welfare state has made charity hopelessly complicated. It is galling to give to someone who has a sense of entitlement and can’t even muster the class to say “Thank you.” I'm not so sure that such an attitude is the charitable person's cross to bear as much as it may be a sign that the thankless, needy person is not ready to receive help.

It is often easier to write a check or give a handout than it is to actually give the kind of help that will empower a person to become responsible. You know the whole “give a man a fish vs. teach a man to fish” thing.

The promises of God are realized in those who believe. Faith leads a person to action, the actions of a neighbor, whether stranger or kinfolk. We do for our own and we look out for others, too. The promises to Abraham and his seed were to extend in influence and blessing to the entire world. "In you all the nations of the world will be blessed."

I suspect that the manner in which we are good strangers to others will come in ways that we do not expect. We should go looking to help others, but God also grant us the grace to recognize such opportunities when they come upon us unawares. Jesus went about doing good to all who were oppressed. Sometimes he sought them. Sometimes they sought him. May we be ready for it all.

"ALMIGHTY and merciful God, of whose only gift it cometh that thy faithful people do unto thee true and laudable service; Grant, we beseech thee, that we may so faithfully serve thee in this life, that we fail not finally to attain thy heavenly promises; through the merits of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Propers for Trinity 13

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Filed in General

Related Tags: Good Samaritan, Parables, Jesus Christ, Faith, Good Works, Law, Atonement, Calvinism

The View From Here

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Whilst the gender wars rage on,
And the sirens sing their song,
Lure they men unto their doom,
Sealing them in lustful tombs.

Whilst Sodom's sons do plot their schemes
To demonize and to demean
All who to them stand opposed.
Their comrades hearts and eyes glaze o'er.

Whilst Darwin's ilk raze earth and heav'n
From early dawn to dusk and even,
Unwittingly do they erase
Their receptivity to grace.

Whilst men in power do decide
If we'll continue genocide,
We heap unto ourselves damnation
By murdering the next gen'ration.

Whilst mom and pop recline at ease,
The middle states rest on their lees,
Both pew and pulpit safe in Zion,
Not aware the roaring lion.

Still some voices can be heard:
"Repent. Prepare. The coming Lord
Will put an end to all this strife
And raise us to eternal life."

Until then we cannot rest
And hunker down with all the blest.
We must give arm, voice, pen and art
'Til righteousness shines from each heart.

Potential kin we must not fail,
Though with their might they do assail
Those who show themselves true friends
By virtue's start and vice's end.

By substances and the glass teat
Prevented from life's solid meat.
Impossible the wounds to dress
Of stupified and unimpressed.

The problems certainly include
Those by divine grace imbued.
For fear of ever being rude
We bear verisimilitude.

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Filed in Creative

Related Tags: Poetry, Creative Writing, Church, Gospel, Missions, Evangelism, Repentance, Hypocrisy, Homosexuality, Abortion, Feminism, Pornography, Evolution

Be Opened

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Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb.

We kneel together before the altar. We have come to eat his flesh and drink his blood. The epiclesis has been prayed. The Spirit has descended like a dove, transforming these creatures. They are now the sacrament of God.

We cannot see the glory of God. So Jesus comes to us. The light of the knowledge of the glory of God is in the face of Jesus Christ. What Moses could not do, we can. Moses was the moon, reflecting the light. Even that was too terrible for the blind to look upon.

Jesus is the light. He is incarnate so that we might behold the light, the glory of God. The advent of the Spirit has brought the light into our hearts. We behold him in one another. We partake of him in the Eucharist.

Though we have been so blind, now we are in the process of recovering our sight so that we might see the Lord with perfect vision.

We cannot hear the voice of God. So Jesus comes to us. He is the Word. He touches us. He opens our deaf ears. He says to us “Be opened,” and we can hear for the first time.

We are no longer trying to listen from the other side of the door with a glass pressed to the wall. We are now in the room with him. He has made his dwelling with us by the Holy Spirit. The Word of God has healed our deafness.

Though we have been so deaf, now we are in the process of recovering our hearing so that we might hear the Lord with perfect ears.

We cannot speak to God or one another. So Jesus comes to us. He is the Prophet whom Moses foretold. He is the one who only speaks what he hears his Father saying.

Jesus touches us. Our tongue is loosed. Our mouth is wide open. We may now speak the praises of God. We may now hold conversation with God and man.

Though we have been so mute, now we are in the process of recovering our speech so that we might tell others what we have seen and heard and touched (1 John 1).

That which formerly stayed on stone tablets is now in our hearts by the ministry of the Holy Spirit. In astonishment we say that truly Jesus Christ has done all things well. By his atonement he has made the deaf to hear, the dumb to speak and the blind to see. Hallelujah.

And so we are kneeling together before the altar that we might eat of his flesh and drink of his blood. Is there a balm in Gilead? Is there a physician there? Here is the medicine of immortality. The Great Physician and the vivifying physic are one.

Hear Him, ye deaf.
His praise, ye dumb,
Your loosened tongues employ.
Ye blind, behold your Savior come,
And leap, ye lame, for joy.
- Charles Wesley

NOTE: The Ochlophobist has a worthy meditation on the importance of touch that is appropriate to the Propers for Trinity 12.

Hack away.

Filed in Theology

Related Tags: Eucharist, Holy Communion, Healing, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, Atonement

"I'm Spiritual, But Not Religious"

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Actually, you're a knucklehead.

"Spiritual" is somthing that does not pertain to corporeal or material existence. So no, you are not simply "spiritual." You are both physical and spiritual, material and ethereal. You are soul and body. Your soul is not the "real" part of you in opposition to your body. Your body is not simply a shell that houses the real you. For a brief while your soul and body will be separated. You will be resurrected in Christ and reunited with your body. Heaven is physical and spiritual, as is hell.

In your effort to be spiritual you might encounter a person named Jesus. When you meet him, remember that he is God and that God is spirit. When you meet him, remember that he is a man of soul and body like you. You do not meet a sprite, a waif, a ghost or a spirit. You meed the God-man, the Incarnate Christ, Son of God and Son of man. Long, long ago the idea that Jesus was something other than God and man at any point after his conception in Mary's womb by the Holy Spirit was laid to rest. Or, to put it more bluntly, it was declared heretical by the Church.

If you insist that you are really "spiritual, but not religious," then at best you might be some sort of neo-gnostic, but I doubt it. The fact that you get drunk and fornicate argues against you actually living out any kind of gnostic rejection of the body. Maybe you're a hypocritical gnostic; your principles and practice don't match up. Do you like a good steak? Ever enjoy a massage? How about music? Do you listen to Coldplay, Bach, Blind Willie Johnson?

Not everyone who reverences nature is a pagan idiot. Those who worship the Creator take great delight in His creation. He said that it is good; we agree. We eat and drink, watch sunsets, dance in the rain, point out rainbows to each other, and have sex with our spouses (one each for life). The traumas and terrors of Creation have been recapitulated and redeemed by the God-man, Jesus Christ. That is why we delight in Creation, despite the shadows and clouds that still gather round us, and the thorns and weeds that harrass us.

"Spirituality" is such a misnomer. "Religion" is not a bad thing. It is simply a word that is used to describe the fact that you have a way of approaching, explaining and living in the world. Your religion may involve a god, or it may not. You still have your rituals. You still have your beliefs. Like it or not, you ARE religious. The question is, "Is your religion true, good and beautiful?" Does it correspond with reality or does it leave you under the delusion that you are "spiritual, but not religious."

NOTE: As I was in the process of writing this post, I submitted a question to Warwickensis based on his "Obscene Posting." He responded with "I'm spiritual, but not religious," even preempting my own title. Go take a look and, while you're there, read some of his homilies. He has an engaging, narrative style.

Hack away.

Filed in Rants

Related Tags: Spirituality, Religion, Christianity, Creation, Anthropology, Philosophy, Theology