Lagniappe 5 - Indexed on the 7 Deadly Sins

**
Jessica Hagy of Indexed is very clever. She outdid herself recently with an entry on the Seven Deadly Sins. (click to enlarge)


Do you have any suggestions for alternate takes on the results of combining deadly sins? I made a few contributions over at Indexed that featured three sin combinations. Let's hear what you can come up with. I imagine that I'll join in the fray if my comment box gets some activity.

I will tell you before you click over there that her humor is occasionally off-color. Do what you will with that tidbit.

A bonus on top of this week's "little something extra:"

From The Prebyteer via Alastair ...

"Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men."

Hack away.

Filed in Recommendations

Related Tags: Sin, Seven Deadly Sins, Jessica Hagy, Indexed, Humor

Neither Here Nor There

**

?

am I channeling ethereal inspiration
am I asserting myself upon the world
am I giving vent to forces within
am I serving folks

am I touching nerves
am I salving wounds
am I pressing into service
am I waiting tables

am I a sculptor finding the statue that lies within the marble
am I a wielder of hammer and chisel upon unruly elements
am I making discoveries
am I making realities

am I like you
am I like God
am I accompanied
am I alone

?

Hack away.

Filed in Creative

Related Tags: Poetry, Self-Examination, Existentialism, Art, Self

Cyclone Jones and the Importance of History

**
Back when I was a Pentecostal, one of my cohorts was preaching on the streets. A Oneness Pentecostal approached him, and they began talking. For those of you who do not know, Oneness folks do not believe in the Trinity. They believe that the Father and the Spirit are manifestations of the Son. They also call themselves Apostolic or United Pentecostals. The Church calls them heretics.

At one point my acquaintance tried to make a subtle point with his interlocutor. My guy mentioned that he had read some Christian authors from former times and asked the Oneness man if there were any authors from the earlier days of his movement that he would recommend. The response was both telling and painfully funny:

"You ever heard of Cyclone Jones?"

The answer, of course, was "no." The Oneness fellow was predictably innoculated against reasoning. It is ironic that my Pentecostal friend would be seeking to use history as a tool to argue with a heretic, but that will have to wait.

Hundreds of years befor the birth of Christ, the Isaiah prophesied of one who would come in the power of the Spirit to preach and heal, to minister to the needy. Once Jesus had been baptized, he entered his hometown synagogue, read the particular passage in Isaiah and made it clear that the passage applied to himself.

The phenomenon of prophecy serves many purposes in the Scriptures. I think one of the functions of prophecy is to connect the past narrative of God's dealings with mankind with his present and future activities in the earth. Prophecy helps to emphasize the continuity of God's presence in and salvation of the world, first through the nation of Israel and, later, through the the incarnate Christ and his Church.

When the people question the application of Isaiah's prophecy to Jesus, he made reference to both Elijah and Elisha. Both men had served Gentiles at one point or another in their ministries. Jesus uses those episodes to show that, while his own neighbors may not receive him, there would people who would hear, believe and benefit from his ministry. Such talk enraged his hearers, and they even sought to kill him.

The combination of the reading from Isaiah and the references to Elijah and Elisha help emphasize Jesus place in Israel's history. It is important for us to remember that our Lord did not appear in a vacuum, but, rather, that he was totally connected with God's interactions with Israel in the past.

Christianity is a religion of history. Jesus cannot be understood apart from God's prior calling of Abraham and his care for Israel. The Church cannot be understood apart from the Incarnation in time and space of God's Son by the Holy Spirit. We will never understand ourselves and the Christian religion apart from the preceding two millenia of Church history.

Our life exists within the context of a narrative that is much greater than our individual histories, and, yet, somehow our story is not swallowed up in history but is contextualized and interpreted for us.

Epiphany 4 Lectionary Readings - Psalm 66; Isaiah 61; St. Luke 4:16-32 (first set)

Hack away.

Read Epiphany 4 2006 - Can I Please Speak to the Manager?

Filed in Epiphany

Related Tags: Pentecostalism, Oneness, Apostolic, UPC, Jesus Christ, Incarnation, Prophecy, Epiphany

pic axe 4 - Minor League Biscuits

**

I guess I lied - two sports related posts in one week. Spring Training is not that far away. I snapped this pic last April at a contest between the Mississippi Braves and the Montgomery Bisquits. That's right, folks, the Bisquits.

It turned out last April that the Bisquits had the gravy and the Braves got scalped. I should be writing for ESPN.

Hack away.

Filed in Pictures

Kate and Buster - Part 2

**
Kate and Buster, or Buster and Kate, Depending on Who's Making the Introductions - Part 2 (Read Part 1)

"Heeeellooo, Buster. How are you?" Dawn was laying it on thick. Their breakup had been Buster's idea. Dawn had not taken it well. Things like "Nobody dumps me!" and "I'm the best you'll ever have!" were screamed, along with cliches like "You'll be sorry!" and "You're making a big mistake!" Somehow Dawn, in all her Shakespearean rage, failed to use his name in a pejorative manner. Buster would have had an even harder time than he already was keeping a straight face had she addressed him by his name while not addressing him by his name.

"I'm doing well." Buster would do what he could to keep this conversation brief without being uneccesarily rude. Unfortunately, Dawn did not always play nice with others. She might force him to do what he didn't want to do (and other cliches found in tough guy, action movies that were somehow appropriate when dealing with the well-put-together woman now posing before him).

Dawn always looked like she was ready for paparazzi. She was not really on anyone's celebrity radar, but she wanted to be. She was not at all sleazy, but she definitely could make an appearance. A really classy lady and an ambitious socialite battled it out inside her. Buster met the classy one first and had dated her for a while before realizing that the socialite did not only appear during momentary lapses of reason but was as much a part of Dawn as the other.

"Me too. In fact, I'm fabulous. I just got back from Aspen. It was a blast."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"So, who's your date."

"I'm here by myself," Buster said without blinking.

"Oh reeeeaaaallly. I'm sorry to hear that."

Buster resisted the urge to respond. Any justification or explanation would only sound lame. Also, he didn't care.

Dawn waited for him to ask her who she was with. Buster defied her desire to show off. He could handle dead air. He had been in plenty of negotiations in which both parties waited for the other to blink. Dawn had nothing on him, so he could handle her just fine. If she wanted to make a big deal about whose arm she was on, then she would have to do all her own publicity; Buster was not going to help.

"Was Allison unavailable? Oh, never mind, I think I saw her earlier with that delightful Englishman. What is his name?"

"Do you mean Thad Higgins?"

"Yes, that's him." Dawn was probing for a reaction. Again, Buster did not care enough to offer one.

"I thought that you and Allison were together?"

"We've seen each other a few times." Dawn was moving Buster onto her playing field. A denial that he and Allison were together might hurt any chances he had of seeing her again. If he owned up to it in the wrong way, then Dawn might try to use his misstep in a manner only foreknown by her breed.

"You didn't want to bring her to the party?" Buster reached his tolerance point with Dawn's constant and manipulative probing.

"Why so interested in who I am with or am not with?" Buster thought about making a joke about her date's inability to entertain her but he did not want to hear her sing her date's praises if at all possible.

"Why so defensive, Buster? I'm only making conversation."

"Mi malo. I think you've mistaken my boredom for defensiveness. I'll try to be more clear next time." He had now crossed over into sarcasm despite his intentions to be civil.

"Now you're just being nasty. I don't know what I've done to deserve this kind of treatment."

Dawn, the master manipulator. She would poke and prod and provoke until she got a reaction, then she would play the innocent. Dawn would report Buster's rudeness to as many people as would benefit her to inform. Buster felt the need to extricate himself ASAP.

"I have a few people I need to greet. I hope you enjoy the party."

"OK, Buster. I think Tim Treckle is looking for you."

"Thanks," Buster said as he stepped away before Dawn could reload. Kate had moved to another room. Buster started for the dining area. Trek's father, Duane, intercepted him.

"Buster, I've been wanting to bend your ear about something.

Part 3 next Thursday.

Filed in Stories

Lagniappe 4 - The Phoenix Suns

**

I don't think that I have ever had a post on axegrinder that was just about sports. I don't plan on making it a regular occurance, but a recent article had me almost giggling with glee (that's kind of an unmanly way to put it, but what the heck).

I grew up loving basketball. I love to play (however poorly). I love to watch. I love to talk about it. I love to coach my favorite teams from the comfort of my recliner: telling them what they're doing wrong, suggesting changes, applauding good play, yelling at the referees, cursing Kobe Bryant.

My favorite player, college or pro, is Steve Nash, the two-time MVP point guard for the Phoenix Suns. There is a long line to get on his bandwagon, but, in my defense, I fell in love with his style of play in the fall of 2002 when he was still with the Dallas Mavericks and I started watching sports on TV after a long hiatus.

In case you could give a rat's rear end, Bill Simmons has a very entertaining article on the ESPN website called "Thank You For the Suns".

A few excerpts:

About Raja Bell - "I once wrote that he played like Bruce Bowen after four drinks -- I'd like to revise that to 'Bowen after two shots of tequila and a slap to the face' ... and if that's not enough, he clearly aggravates Kobe, which counts for something."

About Steve Nash - "When Dallas eliminated Phoenix {from the playoffs] last spring, Nash probably spent a few weeks mulling over his career and everything that happened. He thought about the two MVP awards, realized he couldn't accomplish anything more other than winning a title, then thought long and hard about how to do it, ultimately cutting off his hair (feel the symbolism, baby!) and getting in the best shape of his life (remember, he wore down the last two springs). Then he showed up for training camp, realized the Marion-Stoudemire soap opera would be an ongoing problem, realized Diaw was woefully out of shape, realized Banks wasn't going to help at all ... and something snapped inside him. Exit, nice Steve Nash. Enter, icy Steve Nash. And he's been playing pissed off ever since. Eventually, everyone else fell in line."

For those of you who couldn't care less, thank you for your clemency.

Filed in Recommendations

Related Tags: Steve Nash, Phoenix Suns, NBA, ESPN, Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, Basketball, MVP

St. Patrick's iPod

**
*Apologies to sainted Patrick for ripping off his Breastplate.
**

I bind unto myself today
An iPod wrapped in neoprene.
Engrossed in gazing at the same,
I like it's white and silvery sheen.

I bind this day to me for now
The pow'r to access any song.
As for those who don't know how,
What has taken you so long?
Its micro size, its battery life,
Its hipster looks, its tight earbuds,
Its magic silencing of strife,
Cases to go with your duds.

I bind unto myself the power
Of great Electric Babylon,
The sweet tunes during the rush hour
To get me through the commute home.
Indie lyrics, rock guitars,
Classical's high soaring strains,
Blues to heal emotion's scars,
Folk music to soothe my pains.

I bind unto myself today
Convenience of technology,
Thousands of podcasts to play,
E'en list'ning to theology.
The cool glow of the little screen,
The smooth touch of the white click wheel,
Do you now perceive what I mean?
The front is plastic; back is steel.

I bind unto myself today,
With hope to silence every screed,
My iPod to hold and play,
With faith that it will meet my need.
Does my listening please the Lord?
I can only pray and hope.
I carry proudly an iPod,
Just like His Holiness, the Pope.

Against the female teenage screech,
The homeless men who ask for change,
The old, gay stalker within reach,
May my earbuds defy their range.
Few or many, far or cleaving,
In every place and at all hours,
Against the dogs who bark all evening,
Deaf'ning their annoying powers.

Against all foolish conversation,
Against all inanity,
Against all idiot machinations,
Please protect my sanity.
Against morons in coffee houses,
The nagging wife, the gadabout,
Who're never quiet as the mouses,
Please, iPod, please, drown them out.

Music be with me, Music within me,
Music behind me, Music before me,
Music beside me, Music to win me,
Music to comfort and restore me.
Music beneath me, Music above me,
Music from albums, Music from podcasts,
Music in ears of all that love me,
Music as long as the battery lasts.

I bind unto myself today
An iPod wrapped in neoprene.
Engrossed in gazing at the same,
I like it's white and silvery sheen.
By which all people can be with it
All thanks and praise to Apple's folks.
I like the way the Brits say "innit."
I hope you take this as a joke.

PS. I own an iPod and I love it.

Hack away.

Filed in Humor

Related Tags: iPod, Apple, Steve Jobs, Indie, Poetry, Technology, Benedict XIV

The Humility of God

**
That's an odd sounding phrase, isn't it (or "innit it?" if you're British). Some theologies that push sovereignty, sovereignty, sovereignty seem to have the effect of eclipsing this very real way in which God relates to mankind. The eternally enthroned Holy One asked a sexually immoral, Samaritan woman for a drink of water. This event was certainly neither expected nor common in the experience of those who were involved.

Here are a few things to keep in mind about the Lord's conversation partner that day. She was a Samaritan. She was a woman. She was sexually immoral. These were not three traits found in people who got close to first century, Jewish holy men, let alone the Messiah.

Even more than a Roman Centurion, this woman would likely neither desire nor expect to have interaction with Jesus. However, he initiates the conversation, even putting himself in the position of asking for water from her. This unusual request prompts her to inquire regarding the breach of protocol. Even when she challenges his offer of living water, he continues to pursue her. His goodness is received and the woman becomes quite the effective evangelist.

Those of us with a sense of entitlement are in the most ridiculous position in relation to the Triune God. Nevertheless, his glory is not threatened by our pride. He will enter into conversation with us if we are willing. He will seek to break us down and bring us to see ourselves as we are, whether gradually or in one, painful instant; it matters not. If we will not come to the table for extended conversation, then the Lord certainly has other means of getting our attention and granting us the gift of repentance.

Is it possible for an arrogant person to enter the Kingdom of God? Only the poor in spirit possess the Kingdom. God does seek us out in all of our pride. He calls us to himself through faith and repentance. He is committed for the long haul, from our initiation through baptism, our sanctification through our participation in the life of the Spirit within the Church, to our eventual glorification at the final resurrection.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

Epiphany 3 Lectionary Readings - Psalms 42 & 43; Isaiah 41:8-10, 17-20; St. John 4:1-14 (first set)

Hack away.

Read Epiphany 3 2006 - Hey, Batter, Batter, Batter ... Saaa-wing, Batter!

Filed in Epiphany

Related Tags: Epiphany, Humility, Pride, Repentance, Jesus Christ

pic axe 3 - The Touch of Gray

**





There was real life inspiration to last week's fictional offering. Above is a series of stills taken from my cubicle at work: ceiling, carpet, desk, cubicle surface, my tribute. Can you feel the numbness overcoming your soul?

The realization that I will be leaving Jackson, MS in about six months is beginning to dawn on me. I am feeling a bit sentimental about my six years here. I think my Friday pic axe will regularly focus on some of the places and things that have occupied my time since moving here.

Hack away.

Filed in Pictures

Kate and Buster, or Buster and Kate, Depending on Who's Making the Introductions - Part 1

**
Buster stepped through the front door. He dumped his coat, strolled through the main hallway and into the great room. He saw Kate to his right. He couldn't decide whether or not it had been a good idea to attend the party without a date. Allison would have been on his arm, had he asked.

Tim Treckle, Trekkie to his friends, though he had never seen an episode of Star Trek in his life, was holding court in the adjoining room. He was thrilling his audience with pontifications on his current favorite topic, gerrymandering. Buster made his way past two couples and into the next room.

"Treckle and his treacle."

"Buster, great to see you. Stick around and let everyone know if my thoughts on redistricting are indeed medicinal, or simply excessive."

Buster made like he was addressing a campaign crowd. "This man has the answers and the will to enforce them upon you all, like it or not."

Buster turned to Trek and said, "How was that?"

"If you stick around much longer I may lose some of my constituency."

"Then I will bid you all a temporary adieu and make my rounds."

"Make sure you stop by before you leave. I've got something I need to discuss with you."

"I look forward to it."

Buster's next stop would be a casual-looking encounter with Kate. They had come up to the precipice of dating twice and had inexplicably backed away. Their last near miss was a little over three months ago. Kate had a new guy, Win. He was a rising star with Nelson, Crowley, Treckle and Baske. The Treckle was Tim's father, Duane. To Buster, Win Barnaby always either looked like he had just smelled a fart or like he had just made someone he despised look stupid to a room full of people.

"Dawn, it's nice to see you." Buster's ex-girlfriend intercepted him out of nowhere.

Part 2 next Thursday.

Filed in Stories

Lagniappe 3 - Alastair Roberts's Rhino

**
Alastair Roberts is a student at St. Mary's College which is the divinity school of St. Andrews University in Scotland. I took a trip over there in June 2004 so I could see the school and talk to Alan Torrance. I dreamed of attending St. Andrews, but, alas, it is not to be.

Despite my raging jealousy of Mr. Roberts's sojourn in the holy city, I would like to point you to a post he did last fall called Van Til's Rhino. It is an excellent critique of prevaling attitudes amongst some Reformed folks.

Here's a bit of the tasty goodness:

"When Reformed people encounter positions that differ from their own they tend to do one of two things. They either domesticate the position and paper over the real differences that exist or demonize the position and deny or marginalize the existence of real commonalities. They seem to be unable to call the sufficiency of their own categories into question."

Roberts also spent a fair amount of time on NT Wright last fall. It's worth a gander.

BTW, it's St. Anthony of the Desert Day. Here's a little somethin' somethin' I did on him last year.

Hack away.

Filed in Recommendations

Related Tags: Reformed, Calvinism, Calvin, Luther, Augustine, Van Til, St Andrews, Alastair Roberts

Chasing Relevance

**
I fell into a hole today.
I followed a false scent.
I thought it was the narrow way.
It turned out it was bent.

I fell into a ditch today
As I strode abroad.
I was seeking relevance
But was I seeking God?

I trode the Fathers underfoot.
I ignored Tradition.
To all things old, I gave the boot.
To all things new, permission

To hold my attention rapt,
To bring about revival,
To show the Church not merely strapped
And struggling for survival.

I thought I acted lawfully.
Mods and Pomo's know what's best.
My head was aching awfully.
I reclined for rest.

I dreamed a dream while dozing sound
That thrilled me to the core:
Saints and martyrs, elders 'round
God's throne forevermore.

Communion of the Holy Dead -
Their presence made me tremble.
Not following where they have led
Would be to dissemble.

I woke and finally ceased my haste.
I finally learned some sense.
I finally lost all my taste
For chasing relevance.

Hack away.

Filed in Creative

Related Tags: Postmodernism, Pomo, Tradition, Church, Christianity, Poetry, Relevance, Communion of the Saints

Who Wants To Be The Lord's Pinky Toenail?

**
I do not make a secret of my dislike for the thoughtless egalitarianism that has stenchified our culture and (sur-prise sur-prise sur-prise) much (all?) of American Christianity. The second lesson from this morning's lectionary provides me another opportunity to propagandize you. Hang on to something.

Some parts of the human body, and, by Paul's metaphorical use, the Church, are weaker, less attractive and less honorable. The egalitarianism of the Gospel protects and values these members of Christ's Body. They are not forgotten. They are not ignored. They are not left out.

What is important to keep in mind is that these Body parts stay in their place and perform their function so that the Church may remain healthy and productive, ever moving onward and upward. Little guys like me have no business pushing and shoving our way to the top. Otherwise, chaos ensues. If the powers that be see fit to call me up higher, fine. If not, fine.

We should be ambitious. We should aspire to be the best mother, lawyer, landscaper, teacher, cashier, priest or student possible. We should maximize our potential by taking advantage of our opportunities, employing our talents responsibly and being zealous for good works.

Such order and goodness will be a sign to those whose eyes are open. People whom the Lord has touched will be able to observe his grace in our midst. In so doing they might even become worshippers themselves. Isn't that our goal?

"I called upon the LORD in trouble; and the LORD heard me at large."

All those who have been baptized into Christ by the Holy Spirit have a place and a work in the Father's house. We all have a story to tell. That story is interesting to someone if you'll take the time to inhabit it. You don't have to tell it pretty, but, for goodness sake, tell it anyway. You'd be surprised. Maybe someone will respond by saying "We will go with you: for we have heard that God is with you."

"Yea, let them now that fear the LORD confess, that his mercy endureth for ever."

In answer to the question in the title of this post, I want to be the Lord's pinky toenail. He gets regular pedicures and I'd like to be in the middle of the action when Jesus returns to kick some deserving hindparts.

Before you tell me how offended you are by that last comment, pause for a second. Do you really think I'm serious?

"ALMIGHTY and everlasting God, who dost govern all things in heaven and earth; Mercifully hear the supplications of thy people, and grant us thy peace all the days of our life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

Epiphany 2 Lectionary Readings - Psalm 118; Zechariah 8:1-8, 20-23; 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 (first set)

Hack away.

Read Epiphany 2 2006 - Joyous Diversity

Filed in Epiphany

pic axe 2 - Capote Pillow

**

I snapped this pic in a house in Palm Beach, FL last Easter weekend. Truman Capote may have been a pink-handed sissy but he was good for a decent quote.

Hack away.

Filed in Pictures

Old Soul or New Breed?

**
This week's revelatory question:

"The Diary of an Old Soul" by George MacDonald (GMac)


or

"A New Kind of Christian" by Brian McLaren (BMac)


???

May the Lord of Hosts smite thee with emerods* if thou thinkest in thine heart or speakest with thy tongue, "Why can't I choose both?"

Hack away.

Filed in General

*KJV-speak for "hemorrhoids"

Lagniappe 2 - Fr. George Rutler

**
lagniappe - something given or obtained gratuitously or by way of good measure
(*NOTE* for my ETex homepeeps - the word has an etymological connection with Quechua)

Fr. George Rutler at First Things on "Words and Reality."

George Orwell wrote: “A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language. It becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.”

Hilaire Belloc wrote: “We sit by and watch the Barbarian, we tolerate him; in the long stretches of peace we are not afraid. We are tickled by his irreverence, his comic inversion of our old certitudes and our fixed creeds refreshes us; we laugh. But as we laugh we are watched by large and awful faces from beyond: and on these faces there is no smile.”

Hack away.

Filed in Recommendations

The Touch of Gray

**
A new story has just materialized at Poboy Muse. I call it "The Touch of Gray." You call it "The best thing I've read in the last 3 minutes."
**

Ralph sat in the gray reception area in a gray upholstered chair waiting for his interviewer to call him into her gray office. The secretary, who happened to be graying, was chatting it up on her cell phone. Whoever was on the other end was having some kind of man-problems. Ralph could hear the woman on the other end from across the room. Kimber, the secretary, must be about deaf.

Kimber. That was an unusual name for a woman who was clearly out of her twenties, thirties and, maybe, forties. Kimber sounded like the name of a sorority girl. Kimber sounded like the name of a blond. Kimber did not sound like the name of a stocky, forty-something women who machine-gunned relationship advice over her cell phone.

Kimber certainly had confidence in her own advice, though it did not appear to be working for her. There were pictures of three kids on her desk, but she was not sporting a wedding ring. The children in the pictures must have been her grandchildren. They were far too young to be her own.

Straightway Ralph got so sick of this boring narrative that he stood up and exclaimed, "I am the King of Gray! There is no one more gray than I. Of all the grays in the world, I am the grayest. I am the super-gray. I am the one they call 'Gray Guy.'"

The secretary did not know what to make of all this ruckus. She asked Ralph to lower his voice. He paused for a moment, considered her request, and walked into the main area of the office.

As he entered the large room, even he was overwhelmed by all the grayness. He began to waver in his assertions about being the King of Gray. He tried to steel his nerve. For a moment he succeeded. Then, like a giant gray train, he was struck down by the sight of the woman who would become his eternal, office nemesis: Mrs. Grey Gray.

Go read the rest, not because you have to, but because you want to.

Compacting Epiphany and Nativity

**
Why do so many Nativity scenes include the Magi?

The birth of Christ in Bethlehem is a separate event from the arrival of the Gentile wise men. The wise men did not show up until later, possibly as much as two years. Why the confusion?

On the one hand it is very important to keep the two events distinct. Salvation came to the Jews first, then to the Gentiles. Epiphany celebrates the revelation of Christ to the Gentiles.

On the other hand, we are now one in Christ. Jew and Gentile comprise on new congregation, the Church. Jewish shepherds and Gentile wise men are together worshipping at the feet of Christ.

The sentiment of having the Magi in Nativity scenes and plays is not altogether incorrect theologically; it is simply inaccurate historically. So why should I care? History doesn't matter, right?

It would be nice if we could sidestep the typical post-Xmas hangover/letdown and see the feast all the way through. That way, Epiphany would simply be a continuation of our Christmas celebration. We might even have occasion to reflect on the relation of the Nativity and Epiphany.

Nah.

By the way, whatever happened to the gold, frankincense, and myrrh?

Epiphany 1 Lectionary Readings - Psalms 72 and 97, Is 60:1-9, Matthew 2:1-12 (first set)

Hack away.

Filed in Epiphany

Light and Darkness

**
The Magi should be honored for their diligent seeking of the King of the Jews. There is so much that we do not know about their story. What we do know is that they travelled a long way, guided by a star, in order to worship a young child.

As much as the seeking Magi should be praised, something had to catch their attention in the first place. Someone had to put them on the scent. Someone had to direct their gaze to the heavens and show them the right star by which to chart their course.

When I think of my own childhood and teenage years I marvel at the gross darkness in which I spent my days. We think of America as having a large amount of Christian influence and presence. That is true. Nevertheless, despite having been inside a few churches and owning a Bible, nothing about God or his Church captivated me.

There were a few light-bearers who beckoned me out of my darkness. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the light. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about.

It is hard for a person to enter the Kingdom of God and live life as a disciple of Christ. Darkness within and darkness without conspire to keep us from glorying in the light of the Trinity. The light of God that shines through Christ by the Holy Spirit in the Church can seem so dim sometimes in comparison to the oppressive darkness that seems to be everywhere.

All nations will flow together to the Lord. All people will come and bow down before Him. That which seems so powerful and proud will be brought low and shown to be weak in the presence of the Maker of all things. God will be exalted.

What can I do in the face of the present darkness?

Today's Lectionary Readings - Psalms 46 and 100, Is 60:1-9, 2 Corinthians 4:1-6

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Read Epiphany 2006 - Christ (Unexpectedly) Revealed

Filed in Epiphany

pic axe 1 - Jiggetts

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I'm thinking of starting a new weekly feature on axegrinder. I'm no real photographer but like to dabble a bit. Keeping my eye open for one interesting pic a week might help feed the need. If I do this on a regular basis I will post the week's pic on Fridays.

Jiggetts Road is a neighborhood street that T-intersects the main thoroughfare on which Wesley Biblical Seminary is located. It took my five and a half years to notice this little road. It is two blocks away from my normal course. Jiggetts is my new favorite word. I greet one of my seminary roommates with an emphatically strained "JIGGETTS!" whenever we talk on the phone.

Hack away.

Filed in Pictures

A Sense-able Question

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If you had to give up one of the following, which would it be ...

Sight?

Hearing?

The ability for you and your spouse to enjoy sexual intercourse (you are still able to procreate)?

What is your answer and why? What does your answer say about how you relate to the world and the people around you? Is the question just a silly and futile exercise? How about if you had to give up two of the above?

Hack away.

Filed in General

Lagniappe 1 - Fr. Stephen Freeman

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lagniappe - something given or obtained gratuitously or by way of good measure
(*NOTE* for my ETex homepeeps - the word has an etymological connection with Quechua)

I move around the internet enough that I thought I might make a point of putting you on the scent of something good once in a while (maybe weekly).

Fr. Stephen Freeman has a good thing going over at "Glory to God for All Things."

Fr. Freeman is an Eastern Orthodox priest. His writings are a savor of Christ. He is adept at describing Mere Christianity. I cannot recommend his edifying blog enough. Please begin reading Fr. Freeman. Take some time to peruse his archives.

Hack away.

Filed in Recommendations

The End of My World 1

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Part 1 of a short story about suicide (fictional, of course)
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I decided yesterday, December 30, that I was going to kill myself. A quick end to a life boringly lived. I have yet to determine how I shall execute the deed. I may not know how, but I do know when: tonight, 11:59:59 PM. The end of the year and the end of my life.

So I’ve answered 3 of the essential questions for you:
What? Suicide.
When? December 31, 11:59:59 PM.
Who? Me.

All I’ve got left before I end this little farewell are “where?” “how?” and “why?” Well, actually, I don’t believe I’ve given you a satisfactory answer to the “who” question. I’m no good at writing and can tell this is already becoming a jumbled mess, so I’ll go ahead and figure out where and how before I get to what might make this note worth reading.

I’m not looking to break any new ground and don’t mind being thought a clichÈ. If I could get my hands on a gun I think that would be a good way to go. I don’t have access to firearms, though. Bummer. Quick and painless looks mighty attractive right about now. I don’t want to leave a mess for anyone else to clean up and I don’t want there to be any lingering questions about foul play. There’s no reason for the cops to have any extra work than they already have on New Year’s Eve. I’m hoping they won’t find me until at least the 3rd. That way everyone will already be back at work.

Shooting’s out. Gas is out, because I live in an apartment complex and don’t want to risk hurting anyone else. I have a car but no private garage. What are my remaining options?

I guess I could jump off a building. Nah. That would present the clean up problem that I am trying to avoid. I could jump off a bridge. There’s one that should be high enough to do the trick and it’s not too far away. I could take a cab somewhere nearby and walk the rest of the way. One strike against this method is that someone is going to find me. I will not be in great shape when they do. I will probably get nibbled on by the fish, turtles, or some other hungry creatures. I don’t really care for my sake, but a water logged, decomposed, partially eaten corpse would ruin some poor angler’s day. I don’t want that.

Ok. I can’t jump off anything. Ah, maybe I could figure out a way to bury myself in a garbage dump or landfill. Nope. Two problems there. First, I want this experience to be as pleasant as possible. Burying myself in garbage will be pretty nasty business. Second, this option leaves the question of my whereabouts open. I want closure. If I disappear, then people suffer the inconvenience of trying to find me. I won’t have it. If I specify where I end it in this note then someone, again, the cops, will have to go digging through the garbage to find me.

Pills. Now, that’s a promising possibility. The problem is I am not exactly sure what will finish me off quickly. I do not want to flop around, puking all over myself. If only I had started planning this out sooner. I could have spent some time on the Internet and then mixed the perfect cocktail with ingredients from CVS. I think I missed it wide left for lack of forethought. I suppose that my dilemma is appropriate to the general tenor of my life.

Let’s see. I’ve eliminated guns, pills, gas, jumping and burying myself. Throwing myself in front of a bus or a train presents the same problems as jumping. Messy and risky to the safety of others.

What’s left? How can I pull this off? What is the one feasible option?

I’m such a moron. Of course. It’s so obvious. Hanging. I’ll hang myself in my closet. There is a sturdy cross bar at the top of my closet. The ceiling is high enough so my feet won’t hit the floor. There’s enough room to get a chair in there for me to launch off if I pull out my Ab-Lounger. I can use those novelty handcuffs from high school to keep from grabbing anything.

Rope. Man. OK. I’ll run out real quick and get some from the hardware store. It will be a bit tight, but I think I can make it in time. I’ll be right back.

I’m back. How the heck do I tie a noose?! I bet I can find out pretty quickly by googling it. I’ll be right back.

That wasn’t too hard. Noose is tied. Chair is set. Handcuffs are sitting on chair. I’ve decided to gag myself with my red bandana, just in case I yell involuntarily. I’ve put a bottle of ammonia in the corner and will open it before I kill myself in order to combat the smell as much as possible. Rope is securely hanging from the ceiling; in a few hours I will be, too.

I’m going to dress like I’m going on a first date. I want to be comfortable but not sloppy. I’ll go ahead and get a shower.

What, where, when, how. Four down, two to go. Who and why. These might be a little tougher.

Filed in Stories

Organ-ic Recapitulatory Obedience

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As a son of Abraham Jesus experienced the rite of circumcision, just as all good sons of Abraham did. It could be said that his undergoing circumcision was akin to his baptism. He didn't need it for himself, but went through it in order to fulfill all righteousness.

The heart of the Incarnate Son never strayed, never disobeyed, never sinned. The Lord always walked in holiness and righteousness before the Father. Don't you dare let yourself be beguiled by the fools who say that Jesus sinned. The Church settled that issue a long time ago.

Jesus lived as a man of the covenant, obeying the faith of Abraham and the Law of Moses as the Son of David. He lived out the obedience that God expected from Israel but never received. He provided in himself a place for Israel to experience the fullness of blessing that was promised by God to those who would enter the covenant he made with Abraham.

As one who remembers that we are dust, he became dust. As one who knows that are days are like the grass, he submitted to being incarnated in space and time. As the one to whom we look for judgment, he submitted to judgment.

Circumcision served as a sign of separation from sin and commitment to God. Cutting flesh could never accomplish what God desired from his people - purity of heart. Jesus experienced circumcision as the one whose heart was pure, but nevertheless identified with those who were unclean, both Jew and Gentile.

In his body we are united to God by the Holy Spirit. Our hearts are circumcised that we might obey the Lord. Christ is so that we may be. Christ does so that we may do.

Are we?

ALMIGHTY God, who madest thy blessed Son to be circumcised, and obedient to the law for man; Grant us the true circumcision of the Spirit; that, our hearts, and all our members, being mortified from all worldly and carnal lusts, we may in all things obey thy blessed will; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Today's Lectionary Readings - Ps 103, Deut 30:1-10, Ephesians 2:11-22

Hack away.

Read New Years Day 2006 - The Circumcision of Christ

Filed in Advent